Amazing Race or is it just a Rat Race

Reality TV took off and running with the premiere of Survivor a decade ago and a slew of reality shows have been born ever since: Hell's Kitchen, Big Brother, The Bachelor(ette) and, our personal favorite, The Amazing Race. And those are just the ones that have stood the test of time on network TV. Even several seasons later, I tune in to The Amazing Race faithfully. On Sunday nights I try not to move my behind from the couch as I watch teams race around the world for the ultimate prize of one million dollars. It's a fun way to be introduced to various countries and cultures, with entertaining challenges to complete. But it's the people watcher in me that keeps me entertained. The  12 competing teams are comprised of two people each, often related, but not always. There are also best friend teams and dating or engaged teams. I think once there was even a divorced couple teaming together. Hilarity ensues when you watch these people running around foreign countries, completing difficult, dangerous or entertaining challenges.

I've been known to joke with Tony that the show would be the demise of our marriage. Actually, I think I am smart enough to know that I would never entertain the thought of auditioning for a show like that with my beloved husband.  While I love my husband, he can be a control-freak. And I am not exactly a door mat. I think we would butt heads. He would yell and I would cry. All I can say is that the camera men would love us. Who doesn't enjoy a little wife bashing and throw downs? In theory Tony would be a good partner. He is very intelligent and has a great sense of direction on foreign streets. Dangerous or difficult tasks involving heights would not be a problem. But.....I have more common sense. While he's got the brains, I've got more common sense. Tony is more impulsive and when I would make a persuasive argument of why he should listen to me, I think my pleas would fall upon deaf ears. I don't see us working well under pressure for extended periods of time. I think that would be more the issue. We've weathered enough crises in our marriage to know that we do pull together when we need to. But for weeks on end with the stress being continual? Nope. Divorce would be a definite possibility.

With the determination of a contestant and having the need to accomplish as much as possible into my day, I squeezed in two weeks worth of grocery shopping today between dropping Elise off at school at noon and needing to be at a board meeting at 1. Clearly doable in my mind without my daughter to slow me down.  Even taking into account the drive time and putting away the groceries, I seemed to believe I could tackle it.  In reality, this adventure began an hour earlier when I decided that with about 45 minutes before school drop off, I could hit the large local warehouse for some bulk shopping for the church.  If I actually stuck to the three items on my list, it was a no-brainer. In and out with time to spare. Ohhh, but how often do you actually stick to the plan? Thirty minutes later I am checking out with my $110 worth of personal goods on top of the church list, which had to be rung out on two separate check outs to keep the receipts itemized. The plan sort of took a nosedive when I realized Elise had to be at school in 22 minutes and I've forgotten to plan for lunch. OOPS! It was while she was eating her ginormous piece of pizza when the cashier from the check out lane from whence I had come tapped me on the shoulder. "Ma'am, two items got separated from your orders. You forgot to buy and pay for the paper towels and napkins." Clearly Mom brain had affected my ability to notice the 12 rolls of paper towels and 2,000 count of dinner napkins had been left behind. After waiting for the person ahead of me to check out and watching the clock while Elise is choking down her pizza in the store and then in the van, we get out of there and to school with precisely 1 minute to spare. Breathe.

But, no....Not yet.  Remember, I still have intentions of going to the grocery story.  Heaven forbid I spend an hour in down time before my meeting. Nope. Gotta squeeze one more place in. And like I mentioned, it's not exactly a short list. My heart rate had recovered enough that I felt up to the challenge. And, man, what a challenge. For the sake of time, I chose the Schnucks next to Elise's school, which is close to her school but not close to home. Not a moment of brilliance since the drive home will offset the time savings...But anyway.... While I've been in this particular store a handful of times, it's not my Schnucks of choice. And, unlike most of my trips to the grocery store, I failed to re-write my list in order by which the foods are found in the store. Yes, I am one of those people who groups like-items together so it reads like a map of the store. Today was a lesson in reinforcing why I take the time to do that. I spent 15 minutes in the store and never left the produce section. Back and forth on my list -- even venturing into the meat section ever so briefly to only find myself back in produce to find the fresh ginger that I missed the first pass. Oh, and don't get me started on not being able to find the green onions. The Friendliest Stores in Town? Maybe I would know that if I had actually found someone to help me. Just so you know, there is a wall aisle completely hidden from the rest of the produce section where they keep the green onions. Once I actually successfully left produce, I knew the next few aisles would be where I could find mango chutney. Or so I thought. Finally a stock person told me where I could find it and even escorted me two aisles over to find it. Maybe it was the look of exasperation that told him I was about to lose my flippin' mind. But yes, he was friendly. When I was officially done with my list I realized that I had forgotten the fruit snacks. They weren't on the list. I didn't remember actually being in that aisle so instead of asking I did a pass back through the store. Couldn't find them. They ended up being in the cereal aisle, which makes sense because that's where they are in my usual store. Can I say that while I kept my composure on the outside, I was seething on the inside and felt that my blood pressure had to be high for the moment. Stress over fruit snacks. Stupid.

When all was said and done, I made it home, got the refrigerated and freezer stuff put away before venturing back out for my meeting. I was only 5 minutes late. Kudos to me. But lesson learned, my friends. Apparently, navigating through a new grocery story proved to be as much challenge as my little heart could manage. Amazing Race is probably not cut out for me, ya think?