Getting Back to the Basics

It was the end of May and it was the last week of school. I had my days planned out. It all came down to the final 5 mornings without children underfoot. I had my plan...but then God had his. God always wins.

We have lived in the same neighborhood for nearly 7 years. In those years we have been fortunate to rarely experience the loss of electricity.  Except we lost power that very first morning of the 'final five' in all the busy craziness that is the end of school. And, life as I knew it, stood still.

The impact was felt immediately by my 6 year old daughter Elise. She had an Internet Webkins party scheduled to take place at 12:30 p.m. The outage began at approximately 12:25 p.m., just as I went to log her in. I had even changed my plans around to make sure we were home in time for her virtual pet party. Thankfully, she giggled at the irony of the timing.

And then we stared at each other in silence. What now?

What has the world come to that we have no telephone, no Internet, no television, no air conditioning and we feel completely and totally out of touch. We piddled around the house until the storm passed and the sun began to shine again, giving us a little more natural lighting indoors.

So we played. We played like two 6 year olds. Elise got out her favorite board games that rarely get taken off the shelf. And we played with her cat and dog park, making up silly pet names and fun imaginative scenarios. And we talked. As I was playing with her it reminded me of why I had become a parent in the first place. We lose so much in the busyness of our lives that we forget about engaging and investing in the lives of the people we love.

The fact is that I have been struggling for the last several days with the fact that my son Adam is leaving elementary school at the end of this week. He is moving onto bigger and better and newer. His childhood is nearly over as he enters the tween and teen years. While I knew that I had a 'to do' list that had to be done, I also knew that soon enough it will be my daughter making that same transition and these stolen moments together will be fewer and farther between, too.

But God gave me at least one more impromptu moment with Adam. While my 'plan' was to watch one of Oprah's finale shows when he got off the school bus, the better plan was to play one more board game with the three of us, and then to read with Adam as we work our way through the seventh and final installment of the Harry Potter series we've been reading together in the last year.

But, alas, the power was restored, which meant it was time for me to meet my writing deadline and for the kids to enthusiastically re-engage with the television. Still, this afternoon reminded me that technology is not always best. Sometimes it's about getting back to the basics.

Home Alone in the 21st Century

It has been just over 20 years since the Home Alone movie rocketed Macaulay Culkin into stardom. It was the cheek slap heard around the world that has been parodied ever since. While most people would agree that 8-year-old Kevin (played by Culkin) was too young to be 'home alone', it begs the question: What is the right age? Or perhaps more fittingly, is there an age specified in the Missouri statutes or in St. Louis County?

I consulted with Lieutenant Bob Arthur of Town and Country police to help answer the question. He said that there was no magical age in St. Louis for when staying home alone is legal (only Illinois and Maryland have specific state laws regulating it). From both experience as a dad of three now-grown children and as an officer who has seen the best and worst of St. Louis, his recommendation is age 12.
Let's face it, with summer quickly approaching, doesn't a little freedom from children underfoot sound enticing? But how do you know your child is ready? Lt. Arthur says that there are basic things your child should know before you leave them alone for any length of time. At the most basic level, they need to know how to dial 9-1-1 and their own street address. Having your child memorize your cell phone is a great idea, too. You may have it on a bulletin board at home but if (s)he can't get it to it in an emergency, (s)he should still know how to reach you.

Children also need to know what to do in case of an emergency. Does your child know where the water shut-off valve is located or the electric breaker box? Do you have a first aid kit where your child can find it if necessary? If they need to leave the house for any reason (like a fire), do they know which neighbors are usually home and they can count on as a 'safe' house? Do they know how to reach a neighbor by phone if they can't reach you?

Arthur stressed too, that you need to rely on your instincts. If you doubt that your child will obey the house rules (do not answer the door, do not use the stove, no friends may come over, etc) then that is a good indication that regardless of chronological age, they may not have the emotional maturity to be responsible enough yet.

Supposing you have decided that staying home alone is acceptable, now what? For us, it means signing up our 11-year-old for a "Home Alone" class. They are held all around the area--at the Des Peres Lodge, Ballwin Pointe, through Rockwood and Parkway Continuing Education, and through all the local hospitals. Don't discount the value in having someone reinforce what you have already instructed your children to do, no matter how thorough you thought you were.

Another tip is to start out in small time blocks. Initially, I left our son Adam home for 10 minutes at a time. I also never allow him to stay home alone if a) I cannot drop everything and come home immediately 2) I am more than a five-minute car ride away 3) I cannot predict how long I will be be gone (Like a doctor's appointment).

The last tip is this: Do not push the matter if your child has any hesitation at all. There are times when our son is more comfortable than others in being home alone. There is no rhyme or reason to his comfort level but I always give him the option. Oftentimes, he will choose to come with me. I want him to be in tune with his gut feeling and I respect his decision even if it would be more convenient to have him stay home. The reality is that eventually they will be ready to, and when they are, the transition will go smoothly if you go at a pace you are both comfortable with. In the meantime, just enjoy the fact that they still want to be near you. That may not last forever.

Chid Restraint Laws in St . Louis

Reposted with minor revisions from the original post that appeared on townandcountry-manchester.patch.com

Over spring break there were three of us moms discussing the use of seat belt restraints/booster seats in St. Louis county. And all three of us had different interpretations of the law. In fact, all three of us believed the law to be different. Even defining the law was difficult.

In April of this year, an ordinance passed in Manchester allowing an officer to pull you over strictly for a seat belt violation. Prior to this change, a seat belt violation could be cited only when an officer was pulling you over for another offense. The exception to this was when children were involved. If an officer noticed a child violating the requirement for their size and age, the driver could be fined independent of any other vehicular offense. But do you know what the regulations are for your child?
Manchester police department's patrol Sergeant Dan West directed me to the Missouri Revised Statutes (Chapter 307.179) to help answer this question. At the link you can read in detail seat belt requirements for all passengers. Below are some highlights.

Infants are required to be in an infant car seat, facing backward in a rear seat. Once they have outgrown the seat according to weight requirements, they may sit in a forward facing seat in a restraint system commonly referred to as a five-point harness. Regardless of age, children who weigh less than 40 pounds must remain in this car seat.

Children at least four years of age but less than eight years of age, who also weigh at least forty pounds but less than eighty pounds, and who are also less than four feet, nine inches tall, shall be secured in a child passenger restraint system (commonly known as a booster seat).

Sergeant West stressed that while your child may be over 8 years old and allowed to ride in a vehicle with only a shoulder and lap restraint system (no booster seat), he urges all parents to continue to have your son or daughter use a booster seat until they meet the height requirement. In an accident, it is the placement of the shoulder strap that will be the most important factor in protecting them from harm or injury. It is body height and weight that impacts how they respond in a crash, not age.

What about riding in the front passenger seat? Sergeant West said that because of air bags, which are standard in most vehicles, children should not ride in the front seat if they are younger than 13. Once again he stressed that substantial injury or death could occur because of the deployment of the air bag that is designed with an adult body size in mind.

Safety should always be our priority when raising our children. Despite protests from kids about wearing a seat belt or arguing with us that they want to give up a booster seat, or them wanting to be allowed to sit in the front seat, it is not about making them happy. It's about keeping them safe--and obeying the laws of the road.

Finding your Inner Julia Child

One of my all-time favorite movies is Julie & Julia. It was because of that movie that I wanted to amp up my cooking skills. Despite being a fairly diverse cook, it was often my favorite part of the day. After 10 years of marriage (and cooking), I needed isnpiration.

Can I get an Amen?

If you are nodding your head in silent agreement, read below on how I tackled the cooking doldrums.

It was at a doctor’s waiting room that I found my initial inspiration in the form of the cooking magazine Cooking Light. I realized I had stagnated over the years; not particularly paying attention to how healthy my recipes were, or challenging myself to become a better cook. Routinely I had chosen short-and-to-the-point recipes that did not grow my skills. Subscribing to this magazine for a few years was a perfect first step in changing that. Not only did it give me new recipes to try, it highlighted different vegetables or spices each month; and it offered cooking tips, such as how to pan-sear properly. Each issue I would make a comprehensive list of the recipes and page numbers I wanted to try. After I had accumulated about 6 issues, I typed it them up into a Word document and placed it in the front pocket of my binder.

The next step was making sure I made a new recipe a few times a month. After realizing that I probably had over 150 new recipes ear-marked to try, I realized I needed to be more intentional in incorporating them into our weekly menu. About 6 months ago, I decided that our family would eat a minimum of two new recipes a week. Sometimes that means two new entrees, and sometimes it might be side dishes or a new dessert. Occasionally, I’ll even be inspired to make all new recipes all week long. Some are hits, some are definite misses. But at least my adaptable family enjoys the adventure of it all.

About 3 months ago, I decided to further challenge myself to grow as a cook by incorporating one new ingredient per week. Turnips, parsnips, capers and patty pan squash are just a few of them. Everyone in our family loves mushrooms so even experimenting with the different varieties has been a fun way to take the ordinary and make it extraordinary.

Of all the changes I’ve made in the last few years, my absolute favorite has been learning to cook ethnic dishes. Our favorite cuisine is Asian: Thai, Chinese, Japanese and, recently, Korean. For authentic (albeit Americanized) dishes, it requires specialty sauces and spices. Sesame oil, peanut oil, mirin, tamari and hoisen sauces are all specialty ingredients that have become staples in our house. Fresh ginger root is the key to all things Asian, so even cooking with fresh spices rather than jarred can really transform your cooking. (Rule of thumb: Use 1/3 the amount of dried herbs to equal chopped fresh.) Try fresh Parmesan cheese rather than the grated variety. So often we have forgotten the original fresh option over the quick, prepared one.

In fact, if your family is less than eager to try a new food, try just adding a new spice (such as using pumpkin pie spice in your chili!) Learn to make a homemade pesto or spaghetti or Alfredo sauce rather than using jarred or canned off the grocery shelf. It might be just enough change to keep you more engaged in the kitchen without a family revolt.

And really, this only scratches the surface of the ways I’ve transformed my cooking over the last few years. Turn cooking from something ‘you have to do’ into something ‘you want to do’. Challenge your cooking talents, stretch your cooking know-how, and impress your friends and family. Your inspiration may be just a meal away

Mom Brain Strikes Again

Are you a mom? Can you relate to the following:

The first time it happened it was a very typical Friday afternoon. I glanced up at the clock and noticed that my son would be getting off the school bus soon, so I went to the front door to make sure it was unlocked. (By fifth grade it is definitely uncool to greet your child at the bus stop). A few minutes later, as the phone began to ring, I realized my faux pas: Every Friday for the last two school years, I have picked Adam up from school at regular dismissal time because of his cello.

The second incident occurred five days later as I waited for my kindergartner to get off the bus. The time came and went with no bus and no daughter. I did notice a few moms I know waving at me as they drove up our street and out of the subdivision; and they were all Daisy Girl Scout moms. The it occurred to me. I forgot about the Daisy Girl Scout meeting.

The third incident was weeks later. Elise had a five-week art class held after school once a week. I completely forgot to take her. In fact, I didn’t even remember the class until the following morning.

So my question is, what gives? For anyone who knows me they will tell you I am organized and detailed to the nth degree. I’ve never been able to relate to other moms who consistently forget things and drop the ball.
Of course, I have many excuses--valid explanations. In fact there is a book by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhan called For Men Only, which accurately depicts a typical woman's workings. Admittedly, I am not typical in many aspects, so I felt that it did not apply to me. But one example struck a chord with me: Open
windows. I have many 'windows' open at all times. While I am typing this blog, I am thinking about my day, which proves to be scheduled down to the last minute; while also wondering if my daughter is getting sick again or maybe it's allergies; thinking about my husband as he drives to Ohio to surprise his bone marrow brother for his birthday; and wondering if the temps are ever going to climb past 70 degrees. Yes, I am multi-tasking in my thoughts. Most women can relate. Of course, I think that is my downfall, too. Life is busy--too busy at times.

Imagine my relief then when Dr. Mehmet Oz wrote in an article about mom brain that it is a true condition. Our brains are 80 percent fat, containing Omega-3 nutrients. The baby receives that nutrient, literally sucking out our brain power. During pregnancy, Dr. Oz says a woman’s brain also shrinks by about 8 percent. “You don’t lose cells. The cells get smaller,” he says. “It might be because you’re focused on one thing, but the good news is after you give birth, your brain begins to rewire quickly. … Your brain actually gets more powerful than before you got pregnant.”

It’s the last part that I find difficult to believe. More powerful? I think my brain forgot to regenerate. I’m just sayin’.

To combat “mommy brain,” Dr. Oz recommends taking omega-3 fatty acids and getting plenty of sleep. “[Omega-3 is] important because we know that it actually allows women to recover from depression faster if they have depression after pregnancy,” he says. “It also allows the brain to grow.”

While he gives that great tip, which I just may try to implement, the true is that I’m fallible. With both of my kids getting older, they are involved in far more scouting, sports and school activities and I have that much more to keep track of. Despite looking at my calendar every day, things are going to slip through the cracks. There is no magic formula and no solution to make sure that things like this don’t happen again. The truth is since my children forgive me, I need to forgive myself. Period.

A Dream, A Vision, Some Carnival Foods

Cancer survivor Harry Freund, a former certified financial advisor and preschool owner, will tell you that he had a vision, an epiphany from God, about three years ago. In that vision he saw himself serving shaved ice among twinkling lights at the once standing Fox Photo store in front of the vacant Chili’s location on Manchester. Two years later, on May 1, 2010, that vision became a reality a few miles farther down Manchester Road at a restaurant aptly named Mr. Harry’s Carnival Foods.

Walking into the store is like walking into a child’s dream, with fun circus decorations and small novelty candies (perfect stocking stuffers at Christmas or basket fillers at Easter), with a game area where you can play checkers, Boggle or even mini Whack-A-Mole.

Located one mile east of Clarkson Road in Ballwin, you can find Harry, his wife Linda, and their twin daughters serving carnival-inspired foods, such as cotton candy, funnel cakes, shaved ice, ice cream, and all the free popcorn your heart desires. They also employ a few former preschool students when they owned and operated Love & Laughter back in the 90's.

If you are in the mood for something more substantial, they also offer a full range of generously sized sandwiches, and homemade sides. The recently began serving up BBQ platters as well when the Freunds began a partnership Jim and Mary Randall of ASAP Barbecue in November of last year. The Randall’s prepare their award-winning barbecue in a mobile trailer on site.

Crave beer while indulging in delicious barbecue? Lucky for your, Mr. Harry’s Carnival Foods recently acquired their liquor license. In addition to one of the most extensive shaved ice menus you’ll find anywhere, you’ll find a strictly adults-only version ‘snowtini’ for your dining pleasure.

ASAP Barbecue and Mr. Harry’s provide catering services. Whether you are looking for a fun circus themed meal, or maybe something a bit more adult-friendly, Mr. Harry’s tailors meals to their customers needs.
Last fall, I partnered with Harry to provide free shaved ice to the children in my kids’ school as part of a fundraising effort. He also provided funnel cakes at the Vacation Bible School program my kids attended last summer at his church. Most recently, he provided hot dogs, corn dogs, shaved ice and cotton candy at my son's Blue & Gold scout banquet whose theme was Circus, Circus.

Need a jump-start to summer? I recommend stopping into Mr. Harry’s Carnival Foods where his slogan is “Where Summer Never Ends.” You’ll be glad you did!

Getting Organized in the Kitchen

There was nothing more frustrating for me than wanting to find a family approved, tried-and-true recipe and not being able to locate it. Was it in a cookbook, a magazine, or on an index card? And those were just the recipes I had remembered making. Often times while on the search for a specific recipe, I’d locate others that I had forgotten about, but knew my family had once enjoyed. Or I would make a mental note to try some recipes out, only to quickly forget about it- indefintely. Certainly, this was no way to live. So what's a girl to do? Get organized!

In my first attempt to get organized, I purchased two recipe binders, similar to a photo album, that had clear sleeves to fit my recipe cards. Since I transferred a lot of recipes onto index cards, in theory,it worked well. I was able to fit newpaper or magazine recipes in the sleeves, too. But, it had its drawbacks. Namely, if the recipe was exceptionally long, or if it was in a cookbook or magazine, I had to photocopy the recipe to keep add it to the binder. My two binders filled up quickly, and it got increasingly difficult to find the exact recipe I was on the hunt for. While this system was better than none, I knew there had to be a better way.

Being an organized, linear thinker, it occured to me that the concept of my binder was on the right track. That is when I decided I should type up all my recipes and put it into a Word document.

Initially, I typed up all my notecard recipes, and all the ones that I had cut out. Then I took the time to go through my cookbooks and magazines and typed those up, as well (I always included who sent me the original recipe so if I had questions or compliments, I knew who to credit). My typed pages are in protective sleeves and in a 3-ring binder.

My recipes fall into thirteen categories, which I separate by page breaks. They include, in alphabetic order: Beef, Beverages, Breads (muffins, breads, bagels, and pastries), Crock pot, Desserts, Pastas, Pork, Poultry, Salads (lettuce, gelatin and fruit), Seafood, Soups, Vegetables (side dishes and appetizers). Each section has a page divder that includes a pocket built in. I love, love, love the pockets, which holds any clipped out recipes I want to try in the future.

Now when I plan my meals every week, I can flip through my 3-ring binder and find the recipe easily. The added bonus is that my recipes don’t get wet, smudged, torn, or lost. No more dreading copying down a recipe for a friend or relative. Simply pull it up on your computer and print (or copy and paste into your e-mail).

The downside is that it took a lot of time. A lot. I am not going to downplay this negative aspect. It probably took me about six months to transfer all my recipes. Some days I would spend only 15 or 30 minutes, and other times I would have a few hours to work on it. But it was worth it. On average, using a two-column format, four recipes fit per page. With 92 pages of recipes, you can imagine how much more organized I am now that it is in one neat little binder.

Am I extreme? A perfectionist? Crazy? Yes, yes, and yes. But the bottom line is that it works for me and it might be the solution to your own organization dilemma.