People Watching

I'm a people watcher. My earliest memory of actively doing it was with my best friend growing up--hanging out at a local mall on the weekends before we could drive. I remember sitting in the carpeted seating area where a carousel now stands. We would giggle as a whole host of interesting people walked by. We were probably really on the look out for the cute boys for us to embarrass ourselves in front of. But it was definitely more than just the cutsie boys we'd notice. Inappropriately I'm sure, we'd point out a person who caught our eye--probably for all the wrong reasons. After all, you have to remember, this was the 80's. Yep, the valley girl,  the punk look, and big hair 80's. You didn't have to look very long before you would find someone perfect to check out.

Suppose I digress and acknowledge that we were just kids and didn't mean any harm. In reality, we weren't being "mean girls". Our comments were discreet (I hope). But therein lies a few questions to get to the heart of the matter. Was it really people watching?  No, probably more like people judging. After all, even if not verbalized aren't we passing judgement in our hearts and minds about someone by their outward appearance?  Let's call a spade a spade.  I distinctly remember a time or two taking my "people watching" to another level and creating a life for them. What I mean by that is that I would look at them and decide what their lives looked like. Married or single? Children? Maybe a doctor, lawyer, call girl? Rich, poor? The possibilities were endless. One young adult stands out in my memory. I recall this being at the Galleria with the same friend but now we were old enough to drive. We notice him because, well, he was an attractive brunette and probably in his early 20's. He had a slim, attractive build. and wearing nice business clothes. He came out of a nearby store and sat down on the ledge of a planter. Distressed, he leaned forward and placed his hands on his forehead, shielding himself from the world around him. He was obviously pondering circumstances that brought him grief, sadness or angst. Without much care or concern, we created his "deep, dark scenario". After much deliberation, a break up with a girlfriend was our conclusion. Giggling and laughing and being silly we carried on while this young man would pace back and forth and then sit again. In hindsight, he was troubled. Probably far more than we would ever know. Our actions did not harm the man, but it certainly wasn't beneficial either.

So it brings me back to my point that life is swirling around us and from the outside looking in, we judge, We all do. I think it is part of our sin nature. "They're thin, they're fat, they're lazy, they're rich, they're poor, they're mean...." the list is endless. The second question is this: Acknowledging we do it, since it's not with malicious intent, isn't it OK? After all, who is it really hurting? Well, it hurts us, actually. Matthew 7:1-5 talks about being a hypocrite and finding fault in others while thinking you are blameless. Didn't we all grow up hearing the expression "Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones"?  Well, I've got news for you. We all live in glass houses.  We don't like being judged, but aren't we quick to do it?

Everyone has a story. Everyone has heartache and troubles in their lives. No, the grass really isn't greener on the other side. My challenge to my readers is this: When you pass a stranger look beyond the outward appearance and know that there is someone who has lived a life time just like you needing our compassion and the benefit of the doubt and maybe even our prayers. No one has it "all together" and everyone needs someone. It really does take a village. Our smile might be the one that helps them regain perspective or create hope where they were losing hope.

Now as I go through my day, I hold my head up high as I pass people and offer up smiles and encouragement, especially when they have a tantrum-throwing toddler or preschooler in their midst--which is where I can relate. Been there, done that. Just yesterday I waited far too long in the Walgreen's drive through window for our prescriptions. Impatiently, I was watching the clock being mindful of picking up Adam for his orthodontic appointment. To add fuel to the fire, Elise was verbalizing exactly what I was feeling. "Mommy, this is taking forever. Can't we just go in?" No, I tell her, we're next in line. We're sandwiched in between cars. It will be our turn soon. Soon came several minutes later and what I found was a frantic young man working both drive up windows while also working the inside counter. He was doing his best working between the three stations, carefully and politely processing each order correctly. My turn finally came. I thanked him and said "Take a deep breath and a step back. You're doing great...keep it up". Sighing heavily he quietly, almost inaudibly said "thanks...I needed that".  We all do.....I thought to myself....we all do