What does Family look like to you?
To a distant cousin the term "family" is rejection by a father who didn't know her and a mother who was neglectful and resentful of a daughter who wasn't "supposed" to be born. Emotional abandonment. But that same amazing woman made a decision early on to redefine "family" in her adult life. Now "family" is a happy word. She triumphed against what she learned and pressed on to be a loyal, faithful, loving and caring wife and mother. She persevered to leave a legacy for her children that would not repeat generationally from the patterns from which she came.
To a sweet new friend, "family" can mean being an orphan, having lost both parents at much too young an age. Having her own family now, it can also be the traditional "family" and creating the security and love for her children that she can no longer find in her own parents.
For a close relative and countless friends, "family" is single parenting children in a world where society has been largely unforgiving and judgemental. It is being both the mom and the dad and trying to be everything to their little ones, while praying that they do not lose themselves in the process.
For other friends, "family" is their spouse and pets. Unable to have children, they have taken the life given to them and flourished, embracing the future with passion and determination to be full and all that it can be despite the emptiness they feel by being child-less.
For my mom "family" changed over time. As a young girl it was being abandoned by her father and living with her mom and grandparents. It was being protected by her grandmother in the strongest sense of the word from the cruelties that life had to offer while imprisoned in the genocide camps. My mom rose above the atrocities she witnessed, the struggles she faced and embraced her own marriage and children with a vengeance and passion that was fueled by a determination to end the cycle of violence that had plagued her ancestors.
For me, "family" is traditional. I was so fortunate to have been raised in a stable loving home with two parents and siblings. For me "family" has continued into its next generations defined the same way but with the blended family element. For me it was starting off married life with raising two boys who were not mine by birth, or even by choice, but by the commitment I made to Tony in front of God, my family and my friends. "Family" has continued to re-define as I see the boys reach adulthood and for the responsibility of "family" to primarily mean my birth children and husband.
How do you define family?
To a distant cousin the term "family" is rejection by a father who didn't know her and a mother who was neglectful and resentful of a daughter who wasn't "supposed" to be born. Emotional abandonment. But that same amazing woman made a decision early on to redefine "family" in her adult life. Now "family" is a happy word. She triumphed against what she learned and pressed on to be a loyal, faithful, loving and caring wife and mother. She persevered to leave a legacy for her children that would not repeat generationally from the patterns from which she came.
To a sweet new friend, "family" can mean being an orphan, having lost both parents at much too young an age. Having her own family now, it can also be the traditional "family" and creating the security and love for her children that she can no longer find in her own parents.
For a close relative and countless friends, "family" is single parenting children in a world where society has been largely unforgiving and judgemental. It is being both the mom and the dad and trying to be everything to their little ones, while praying that they do not lose themselves in the process.
For other friends, "family" is their spouse and pets. Unable to have children, they have taken the life given to them and flourished, embracing the future with passion and determination to be full and all that it can be despite the emptiness they feel by being child-less.
For my mom "family" changed over time. As a young girl it was being abandoned by her father and living with her mom and grandparents. It was being protected by her grandmother in the strongest sense of the word from the cruelties that life had to offer while imprisoned in the genocide camps. My mom rose above the atrocities she witnessed, the struggles she faced and embraced her own marriage and children with a vengeance and passion that was fueled by a determination to end the cycle of violence that had plagued her ancestors.
For me, "family" is traditional. I was so fortunate to have been raised in a stable loving home with two parents and siblings. For me "family" has continued into its next generations defined the same way but with the blended family element. For me it was starting off married life with raising two boys who were not mine by birth, or even by choice, but by the commitment I made to Tony in front of God, my family and my friends. "Family" has continued to re-define as I see the boys reach adulthood and for the responsibility of "family" to primarily mean my birth children and husband.
How do you define family?
For my mother, "family" meant being raised by a foster family from an early age until 16, where she was returned to her alcoholic father (her mother died during childbirth when my mom was 2), living in extreme poverty but nonetheless carrying on until she met my father and raised a family of 6 on a single blue-collar salary.
ReplyDeleteFor my dad "family" meant being the son of Syrian immigrants, living on a low-income salary but learning how to save and work hard to get ahead. It meant working 50+ hours for 30+ years in an automoble factory to make sure his children never wanted for food, clothing, or shelter....
For me, "family" is everything and the only thing. As a child it meant endless happy memories -- from playing whiffle ball and "running bases" in our backyard with my brothers and my friends until we could no longer see the ball, to Chritmases in a Northern Ohio house, surrounded by snow, PACKED with brothers, sisters, neices and nephews opening presents and playing games from early morning to late at night.
Today it is doing everything in my power to give my children the same joy and memories I had growing up as a child, but giving them an even greater opportunity to succeed. I know this will be an incredibly hard task, for my parents set a very high bar.
I have huge shoes to fill.
-- Mark