It started with a phone call, or maybe a letter. I am not even sure exactly when this story started--summer perhaps, maybe late spring. Ultimately that really doesn't matter. The important part is that it did happen and therein lies a great, inspirational story.
After several years on the National Bone Marrow Registry, Tony received notification that he was a possible match for a person needing a blood stem cell transplant and they were requesting permission to run initial tests with his blood sample on file. Interestingly, our reactions were starkly different. While I approached it with surprise and awe, Tony's reaction was surprisingly nonchalant. It was then that Tony reminded me that he had received at least one other similar request in past years. While tagged as being an initial match, it never panned out in the end.
Imagine Tony's surprise when fast-forwarding two weeks, he receives a follow-up phone call from the case manager Margaret saying that the initial tests were good and they would like him to come to a local university hospital and donate six more vials of blood to run some further tests. That fateful day came...Tony was a match for a 42 year old man with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). Would he be willing to be a bone marrow donor? Wow, God, really? I thought...Now? Could we really add all that would be required to our schedule at this time in our lives.
To understand my selfish reaction, you must understand what was going on in our lives. Tony was in his final 3 semesters at the aforementioned University completing his bachelor's degree in Aircraft Maintenance Engineering. He was taking two classes at a time during the day while working a physically demanding full time job on the third shift. We had three sons at home, ages 3, 11 and 15. Sleep and family time were at a minimum and the stress level in our home was palpable. But Isaiah 55:8-9 reads "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways" declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" In the end was there really anything to even consider? After all, Tony joined the registry with the commitment that, yes, if the opportunity presented itself to donate he would. Why go through the endless blood work that turned into months of tissue typing if not for the end result of donating? Tony was this man's last hope.
To the best of our remembrances, it is now late summer and it is time to select a date when Tony will have the procedure. We were dismayed to learn that the dates to choose from were in early November, mid November and early December. Now that the commitment was made, did the recipient really need to wait that long? Wasn't this of a time-sensitive nature? Tony eagerly selected the first available date of November 6, 2003. Let the real work begin. Little did we know, or understand, that the real tests were to begin. While the recipient was receiving grueling chemotherapy and radiation to destroy all his white blood cells and remove all traces of his own marrow, Tony was going through tests of his own to make sure he was physically strong and healthy enough to proceed. Part of the prep for Tony included donating pints of his own blood for post surgery replacement transfusions, physicals and x-rays. Ignorance is bliss, "they"say, which was a blessed thing in our case. Little did we know what would be in store for Tony.
God knew what he was doing when he gave man and woman 9 months gestation in preparing for a new baby. It takes every bit of that time to become educated and be both emotionally and physically prepared for the child's arrival. So is the case with bone marrow donation. Education was key. We took the time to learn about the donation process and what this meant for our anonymous recipient. Initially, confidentiality is high between donor and patient. The reason is simple. Should the donor back out last minute or have a reason to not fulfill the contract, or the patient die either before receiving the transplant or reject the marrow and die in the first year, there is less connection between the two. The less information they had on each other, the better from a legal standpoint. Better emotionally, too.
The procedure is considered somewhat routine. Nearly every Thursday the University Hospital has two marrow collection procedures scheduled. A small one-half inch incision is made along the back so that a large syringe can draw out marrow. In Tony's case 8 incisions, 4 on each left and right, were made on his hip under general anesthesia. Since he was donating for a fellow adult male, maximum marrow would be extracted. Tony endured 100 extractions from the sites. (Approximately 1,500 mls were withdrawn) This was no small undertaking for Tony.
We arrived at the hospital at 5 a.m. for the surgery to begin early morning. After the procedure was over, Dr. Pincus came into the waiting room and said "It went great. We took out maximum marrow so recovery is going to be rough. But his marrow looked phenomenal". Honestly, the rest of the day was a blurr. Considered an outpatient procedure, we expected for him to be released within 12 hours. However, Tony started becoming nauseous and when they helped him sit up, it revealed uncontrolled bleeding. Having witnessed it, I can honestly say it was a frightening moment for me. The doctor was paged and the decisions was made to hold him for another 4 hours, considering an overnight stay. Fortunately, I had recruited 4 different friends and family members to look after all the boys in our absence and I knew they would be cared for as long as I needed them. Tony was finally released into my care long into the evening and we made our long trek home. Frances who was there to oversea the marrow transfer let it slip that the marrow was being hand carried via a hospital helicopter by a woman named Bonnie to the Cleveland Clinic. She said having a woman named Bonnie hand carry it was a good omen and smiled. Tony's part was done...now it was up to the patient and Cleveland Clinic.
As stated earlier, Tony's recovery was really rough. Tony is a guy's guy. Nothing much gets him down. He is rarely sick and always goes full steam ahead. Unfortunately, this challenged everything he knew. Ideally, he was going to return to work on Monday--just taking the long weekend to recover. Instead, the four days turned into 2 weeks. Unpaid personal time, I might add. Something is seriously wrong with our health care system when this is not covered under medical leave. Honestly, it was probably weeks if not months before Tony felt 100 percent and even today says he experiences some pain now and again from the sites. This certainly challenged Tony's pain threshold and knowing his own strengths and weaknesses during recovery. School couldn't wait so despite how he felt, he had to go forward with attending his classes. In fact, one professor I had contacted about why he was missing a second class was rather sarcastic and unsupportive. It was only when I explained what he went through did the professor cut Tony any slack and offer up support.
The recipient in the meantime received the donation in a transfusion. Just hooked up to a machine and fed to him intravenously. Not to say that he had it easy up to this point but to receive the stem cells was truly no bigger a deal that receiving IV fluids.
Once home and back into a routine, Tony and I would talk about this elusive man. A man similar in age and family situation to Tony. Personally, I had prayed for him every day for months leading up to the procedure. I prayed that God would sustain him in body waiting for November to come. I prayed that he would be reassured that Tony would follow through. I prayed for his wife and boys. His life hung in the balance. He was out of hope. Tony was his hope.
After a week post operatively, I called our case manager Margaret. The news could not have been better. So far so good. His body was not rejecting the marrow and prognosis looked great. Check back in 30 days. So, I did....Margaret offered up the best news possible. Not only was he doing well, but he was being released from the hospital in record time. Healthy and well on his way to being in 'remission status'. Margaret encouraged me to call in 30 days for another follow up, so I did. But, the news was unchanged (yeah, God!) so she asked me to stop calling (go figure!) and she would call me if the situation changed.
Obviously, the emotional investment was high. I likened what Tony experienced to child birth. No, he didn't give life, but he gave it back. It would still be many months before legally we could have direct contact but now we were allowed to write a general letter without signatures or any details that would allude to where one another lived. We exchanged the letters via our case managers and waited....and waited...and waited. Finally, Margaret called to let us know that we could reveal ourselves. Did we want to know who he was? OK, seriously, do you even have to ask? Under the circumstance of a complete success, it was a natural progression. After all, Tony is forever a part of him. This man's DNA was forever changed and Tony was now a life force for him. Tony's blood was running through him. Yes, a thousand times yes, we wanted to know him. Fortunately, it was mutual.
(to be continued....)
God knew what he was doing when he gave man and woman 9 months gestation in preparing for a new baby. It takes every bit of that time to become educated and be both emotionally and physically prepared for the child's arrival. So is the case with bone marrow donation. Education was key. We took the time to learn about the donation process and what this meant for our anonymous recipient. Initially, confidentiality is high between donor and patient. The reason is simple. Should the donor back out last minute or have a reason to not fulfill the contract, or the patient die either before receiving the transplant or reject the marrow and die in the first year, there is less connection between the two. The less information they had on each other, the better from a legal standpoint. Better emotionally, too.
The procedure is considered somewhat routine. Nearly every Thursday the University Hospital has two marrow collection procedures scheduled. A small one-half inch incision is made along the back so that a large syringe can draw out marrow. In Tony's case 8 incisions, 4 on each left and right, were made on his hip under general anesthesia. Since he was donating for a fellow adult male, maximum marrow would be extracted. Tony endured 100 extractions from the sites. (Approximately 1,500 mls were withdrawn) This was no small undertaking for Tony.
We arrived at the hospital at 5 a.m. for the surgery to begin early morning. After the procedure was over, Dr. Pincus came into the waiting room and said "It went great. We took out maximum marrow so recovery is going to be rough. But his marrow looked phenomenal". Honestly, the rest of the day was a blurr. Considered an outpatient procedure, we expected for him to be released within 12 hours. However, Tony started becoming nauseous and when they helped him sit up, it revealed uncontrolled bleeding. Having witnessed it, I can honestly say it was a frightening moment for me. The doctor was paged and the decisions was made to hold him for another 4 hours, considering an overnight stay. Fortunately, I had recruited 4 different friends and family members to look after all the boys in our absence and I knew they would be cared for as long as I needed them. Tony was finally released into my care long into the evening and we made our long trek home. Frances who was there to oversea the marrow transfer let it slip that the marrow was being hand carried via a hospital helicopter by a woman named Bonnie to the Cleveland Clinic. She said having a woman named Bonnie hand carry it was a good omen and smiled. Tony's part was done...now it was up to the patient and Cleveland Clinic.
As stated earlier, Tony's recovery was really rough. Tony is a guy's guy. Nothing much gets him down. He is rarely sick and always goes full steam ahead. Unfortunately, this challenged everything he knew. Ideally, he was going to return to work on Monday--just taking the long weekend to recover. Instead, the four days turned into 2 weeks. Unpaid personal time, I might add. Something is seriously wrong with our health care system when this is not covered under medical leave. Honestly, it was probably weeks if not months before Tony felt 100 percent and even today says he experiences some pain now and again from the sites. This certainly challenged Tony's pain threshold and knowing his own strengths and weaknesses during recovery. School couldn't wait so despite how he felt, he had to go forward with attending his classes. In fact, one professor I had contacted about why he was missing a second class was rather sarcastic and unsupportive. It was only when I explained what he went through did the professor cut Tony any slack and offer up support.
The recipient in the meantime received the donation in a transfusion. Just hooked up to a machine and fed to him intravenously. Not to say that he had it easy up to this point but to receive the stem cells was truly no bigger a deal that receiving IV fluids.
Once home and back into a routine, Tony and I would talk about this elusive man. A man similar in age and family situation to Tony. Personally, I had prayed for him every day for months leading up to the procedure. I prayed that God would sustain him in body waiting for November to come. I prayed that he would be reassured that Tony would follow through. I prayed for his wife and boys. His life hung in the balance. He was out of hope. Tony was his hope.
After a week post operatively, I called our case manager Margaret. The news could not have been better. So far so good. His body was not rejecting the marrow and prognosis looked great. Check back in 30 days. So, I did....Margaret offered up the best news possible. Not only was he doing well, but he was being released from the hospital in record time. Healthy and well on his way to being in 'remission status'. Margaret encouraged me to call in 30 days for another follow up, so I did. But, the news was unchanged (yeah, God!) so she asked me to stop calling (go figure!) and she would call me if the situation changed.
Obviously, the emotional investment was high. I likened what Tony experienced to child birth. No, he didn't give life, but he gave it back. It would still be many months before legally we could have direct contact but now we were allowed to write a general letter without signatures or any details that would allude to where one another lived. We exchanged the letters via our case managers and waited....and waited...and waited. Finally, Margaret called to let us know that we could reveal ourselves. Did we want to know who he was? OK, seriously, do you even have to ask? Under the circumstance of a complete success, it was a natural progression. After all, Tony is forever a part of him. This man's DNA was forever changed and Tony was now a life force for him. Tony's blood was running through him. Yes, a thousand times yes, we wanted to know him. Fortunately, it was mutual.
(to be continued....)
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