Hoarders

I'm obsessed with Hoarders, the A&E cable show based on the subject of the same name. I guess there are worse things, but I find myself drawn to episode after episode--like a train wreck you just can't look away from.

I suppose it's because it is so against my nature that I find it fascinating. If anything I am out of balance the other direction--being clean and orderly.  I feel anxious when my surroundings are out of whack. Maybe it's because I'm at home full-time and it's my job. But I like organizing. It's energizing for me to bring order out of chaos. Give me a filing cabinet to organize, and I'm your girl. I love nothing more than trash and recycling day--or having a load of donated items carried away...

I am interested in the science behind the addiction. From the episodes I've watched, it usually stems from a life crisis like the death of a child or spouse, even a divorce. But what fascinates me is how it goes from being an unhealthy pattern of behavior to it spiraling out of control. And, certainly, the object of the hoarding is varied, but the 'out of control' element is the same.

One of the most aesthetically disgusting to me is food hoarding. The woman had multiple refrigerators and freezers of rotten, spoiled food. Rancid, disgusting food years past its expiration date. Food oozing out of it's original containers.  Her cupboards were so full, packaged food was spilling out into living space. I wonder what you tell yourself when you purchase 100 individual servings of yogurt? She would only consider throwing something out if the can were bulging, a clear indicator the contents were spoiled. Otherwise, all the food was fair game, no matter how far past the expiration date. It did not matter to her if spoiled food contaminated her "fresh food". She would still eat it. I wonder what she spends on groceries every month--and what amount of food is actually inedible and sits uneaten, lost in the freezer for years? She would panic at the thought of throwing out some food because it would waste money. Wow. It's no surprise she lived through the depression and knew what it was to be hungry. "Never again", I suppose she said to herself.

Then there are the hobbyists whose collection of beer bottles, sheet metal or guns is so vast and out of control, their living space is choked out. One man lived in a mobile home complex and on his property he had over 25 junked cars and so much sheet metal and debris, it looked like a junk yard. What was surprising to me is that he didn't understand why his neighbors were upset. The metal wasn't encroaching on their property so why should have an opinion? Again, it makes me say "Wow." It's all perspective, I guess.

Then there is the animal hoarder. That one is the saddest in my mind. As an animal lover who was raised to rescue injured or unwanted animals, I can see the heart attitude of the rescuer. Their intentions are good but executed poorly. One family had over 60 rescued cats, with roughly 30 dead carcasses in the garage and attic areas where a lot of the animals resided. Feces and animal urine were rampant. In their hearts they think they are helping the animal, but I wonder how many of those animals would have been better off strays.

The group of hoarders that I find the hardest to understand would be the ones who cannot part with anything--even trash. I can be sentimental with possessions and can understand why parting with honest to goodness belongings can be difficult. But empty fast food wrappers and empty tissue boxes? What does a person tell themselves the first time they decide to not throw something away? It is frightening that it can turn from poor housekeeping to a full blown mental illness. And sadly, it becomes more than just vast possessions but actual filth. Human feces and urine, black mold, mice droppings--even dead animal carcasses--interspersed among the debris. The stench must be overwhelming. What is the justification the first time you allow human feces to contaminate your living space? Disgusting.

What is more terrifying to me is that it is only at the risk of losing their homes, children, pets and jobs that they are motivated to seek help.  Actually, a lot of times family or friends arrange the help and all they have to do is accept the help and work toward being healthy again. Left to seek out help on their own, they likely wouldn't do it at all for reasons spanning from embarrassment to denial of the situating being as bad as it's being made out to be.  Yet, I am surprised how many parents are torn over getting rid of unnecessary items when their children are on the cusp of being taken away from Social Services. It's sad that even at the chance of losing custody of the children, they struggle with cooperation.  In some cases the children have already been removed and this is a last ditch effort in reclaiming their children to the home. Still, the parents want to hold onto belongings. The stronghold is beyond anything I can fathom. Possessions or my children? No contest.

That, I suppose, is the crux of the illness. The interviews certainly show sane, rational moments, too. Yet actually executing the plan to clean out their homes is still such a struggle. So very sad that such turmoil can live within a person.  I admire the men and women who have dedicated their careers to help hoarders. With a reported 3 million hoarders, the need is more widespread than we might think. This addiction must be as difficult as recovering from an alcohol or drug addiction.

I think there may have been a hoarder in our old subdivision. His entire garage was over run by sheet metal. I often wondered if it was contained to the garage or if this was merely overflow. There was also a man who  drove a station wagon full of newspapers, who came through the drive up window at the electric company I used to work. I remember making small talk the first time he drove up and commenting "Oh, heading to the recycling center next?" I don't remember his exact response but I know he mumbled something about "No...just have trouble parting with them".  He drove to pay his bill every few months, usually to avoid disconnection of his service. I often wondered what his life looked like. Now I know, I guess.

The financial ruin that goes along with this disorder must be great too. Often over-spending on 'stuff' accompanies hoarding. Whether it's spending too much money on groceries, or hobbies, or strictly going on too many spending sprees, financial destitution is often highlighted as well. As someone who likes to pay our bills in full each month, this goes against my mind set. I feel agitated or anxious when we start mounting revolving debt, such as a credit card bill that we couldn't pay in full, or have a car loan we don't pay off early. I take the responsibility of  living within my means very seriously for my family and cannot fathom being in the final decades of my life and not having financial security in my retirement. Hoarding is simply one part of bigger issues going on. That is obvious.

The show has helped me keep balance in this area. I definitely aim to keep a clean, tidy, organized home, but I am more realistic when I realize what 'clean' really means. Rather than making me go off the deep end to clean more, I've probably relaxed my expectations a bit. Being present in my life and in the lives of my children is certainly more important. And every so often when I do feel some anxiety about the condition of my house, I pause and redirect my thought processes about it. And I have Hoarders to thank for it.