Parenting is not for the weak willed or faint of heart.
Can I get an AMEN!
I was reminded of that in a very profound way yesterday. Adam asked if we could stop by GAMESTOP to purchase a game before we picked up his friend to spend the night. His buddy was going to purchase the game soon, too, so they thought it the perfect opportunity to check it out together.
It was about two years ago that we started allowing Adam to purchase the "M" rated games, which is probably the equivalent of an R-rated movie. Part of that process was working with GAMESTOP to know which games were appropriate and which ones were not. Surprised that they would turn away sales?
They are the first ones to tell you their biggest clients are not the teen boys who buy the games, but rather, soccer moms needing help navigating the process. Like me.
We have allowed Halo, Call of Duty, Assassin's Creed and Battlefield. For the most part, it is zombie killings, which graphics and language having 'edit out' abilities. Yes, they are still violent. But in the world of mature games, they have no nudity, sex, drugs, etc.
GAMESTOP employees made a list of games that at 12-13-14-15 year old Adam should NOT play, such as Red Dead Redemption, Grand Theft Auto and, most recently, Watch Dogs. Watch Dogs became the problem.
A few weeks ago, he had asked to purchase Red Dead Redemption and I told him if after talking to the sales people, they said it was OK after all, I might consider it--knowing it was on my 'banned' list. Sure enough, they stood firm and cautioned me against the purchase. Adam was not happy, but he knew going it the odds were slim to none.
Enter Watch Dogs. Not knowing anything about it, I approached the sales people about the game. Before I asked, they cautioned me against it. An implied rape scene, Russian Roulette while doing drugs, topless women--and according to an on-line review-- an insinuated sex act scene. Not playing the game myself, I did not realize that depending on choices you make and scenes you approach, not every player will play the same scenes and there was a chance Adam would not happen upon some or even most of it. But, who knows until you are there, right?
Hearing enough negative information about it, I had to make an immediate decision about the game. While Adam looked at me with pleading eyes and almost inaudible "pleaaaassseee.....pleeaaaaaassee let me get the game", Elise grabbed me by the hands and said, "No, mom. NO WAY! Don't give in."
You will be pleased to know that I did in fact say no, explaining that if I allowed it, I was compromising our principles....and doing it only to make him happy. And if I had given in, and allowed he and his friend to play it that night, then I would be making the decision for that family that Watch Dogs was OK for their son. Not cool.
I believe my words included, "I know you are disappointed and will be angry, but this is one of those parenting decisions you don't have to like or agree with. But no." I even offered to help pay for a different game to purchase.
We left the store empty-handed.
Adam was dejected and quiet but he never argued. In his heart of hearts, he knew it was not an appropriate game and there was no reason to fight my decision. After reviewing the on line site for parent reviews, it only became more apparent to me that I was correct in saying no. Adam even agreed with me after-the-fact.
It didn't make it any easier though. Fortunately, there is another game coming out in September the sales people suggested to Adam that he buy. He is already looking forward to it.
Sometimes making the right decision is hard. But I thought of longer-term consequences. Adam could argue FOR Grand Theft Auto because I allowed Watch Dogs. It is a slippery slope to compromise our principles, friends. By age 17, Adam will be able to buy any of those games and, most likely, I can't really prevent it. Even if I said no here, he could play it elsewhere and I'd be none-the-wiser. I suppose that is still true if any of his friends purchase Watch Dogs. This is probably not the end of the battle in that respect.
The parenting wars rage on.....
Can I get an AMEN!
I was reminded of that in a very profound way yesterday. Adam asked if we could stop by GAMESTOP to purchase a game before we picked up his friend to spend the night. His buddy was going to purchase the game soon, too, so they thought it the perfect opportunity to check it out together.
It was about two years ago that we started allowing Adam to purchase the "M" rated games, which is probably the equivalent of an R-rated movie. Part of that process was working with GAMESTOP to know which games were appropriate and which ones were not. Surprised that they would turn away sales?
They are the first ones to tell you their biggest clients are not the teen boys who buy the games, but rather, soccer moms needing help navigating the process. Like me.
We have allowed Halo, Call of Duty, Assassin's Creed and Battlefield. For the most part, it is zombie killings, which graphics and language having 'edit out' abilities. Yes, they are still violent. But in the world of mature games, they have no nudity, sex, drugs, etc.
GAMESTOP employees made a list of games that at 12-13-14-15 year old Adam should NOT play, such as Red Dead Redemption, Grand Theft Auto and, most recently, Watch Dogs. Watch Dogs became the problem.
A few weeks ago, he had asked to purchase Red Dead Redemption and I told him if after talking to the sales people, they said it was OK after all, I might consider it--knowing it was on my 'banned' list. Sure enough, they stood firm and cautioned me against the purchase. Adam was not happy, but he knew going it the odds were slim to none.
Enter Watch Dogs. Not knowing anything about it, I approached the sales people about the game. Before I asked, they cautioned me against it. An implied rape scene, Russian Roulette while doing drugs, topless women--and according to an on-line review-- an insinuated sex act scene. Not playing the game myself, I did not realize that depending on choices you make and scenes you approach, not every player will play the same scenes and there was a chance Adam would not happen upon some or even most of it. But, who knows until you are there, right?
Hearing enough negative information about it, I had to make an immediate decision about the game. While Adam looked at me with pleading eyes and almost inaudible "pleaaaassseee.....pleeaaaaaassee let me get the game", Elise grabbed me by the hands and said, "No, mom. NO WAY! Don't give in."
You will be pleased to know that I did in fact say no, explaining that if I allowed it, I was compromising our principles....and doing it only to make him happy. And if I had given in, and allowed he and his friend to play it that night, then I would be making the decision for that family that Watch Dogs was OK for their son. Not cool.
I believe my words included, "I know you are disappointed and will be angry, but this is one of those parenting decisions you don't have to like or agree with. But no." I even offered to help pay for a different game to purchase.
We left the store empty-handed.
Adam was dejected and quiet but he never argued. In his heart of hearts, he knew it was not an appropriate game and there was no reason to fight my decision. After reviewing the on line site for parent reviews, it only became more apparent to me that I was correct in saying no. Adam even agreed with me after-the-fact.
It didn't make it any easier though. Fortunately, there is another game coming out in September the sales people suggested to Adam that he buy. He is already looking forward to it.
Sometimes making the right decision is hard. But I thought of longer-term consequences. Adam could argue FOR Grand Theft Auto because I allowed Watch Dogs. It is a slippery slope to compromise our principles, friends. By age 17, Adam will be able to buy any of those games and, most likely, I can't really prevent it. Even if I said no here, he could play it elsewhere and I'd be none-the-wiser. I suppose that is still true if any of his friends purchase Watch Dogs. This is probably not the end of the battle in that respect.
The parenting wars rage on.....
