I fear...that my children's memories of their grandma will fade.
I pray....that photographs and video will capture her essence and keep her close in their hearts.
I fear...that as they go through their lives they will stop having moments that remind them of her.
I pray....that they will treasure the times they had with her and remember how much she loved them.
I fear...that I will stop telling them what her favorite color is, or her favorite flower.Or how much I loved her.
I pray...that I will be dilligent in explaining who grandma was from the inside out and what made her an amazing mom to me.
I fear...that her friends will stop talking about her in my presence.
I pray....that they know that talking about her is healing and a glorious reminder that despite the lack of her physical presence, her life mattered to them.
I fear...that I will stop dreaming of her.
I pray....that she will live forever in my dreams where I can see her and touch her and talk to her--even if it's not real.
I fear...that I am tainted in my thoughts about what life is really all about and whether or not it really matters that I was a part of it after I am gone.
I pray...that I will have touched many lives and my life will live on in the lives of my children and grandchildren and my life will have meant something to someone.
I fear...that her disappointments and heartache in her life are an unbreakable bond between us.
and I fear that some of these things have already begun to happen.
For Gus' first Christmas my step mom gave him a book that was custom made. It was the story of his grandpa's life complete with old photos of when he was a child, a young man and an adult. The story continued all the way up to when Gus was born and then it had a bunch of pictures with Gus and his Grandpa. He loves it. Maybe you could create a book about your mom and give it to your kids and tell them that their grandma wanted them to have it. I'm making a "Gus book" for my mom this year, I'll get more details and send it to you.
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